I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

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Abbie shaved her arse today....then it smiled at me

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

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What's worse than the Holocost? Two worms in your apple.

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The real reason you go to college is.... To learn more about what you want to do in life.

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- knock knock. - Who's There? - Steve. - Steve who? - Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

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Which came first, the chicken , the egg, the chick, the dinosaur, or the fried chicken nuggets?

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Whats black and has white cream in it? Oreos

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A man went to the doctor, complaining about not feeling well after dancing the night before. The doctor quickly rushed to the surgeon to get ready for the liver transplant that had to take place.

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There once was a man from Dundee. He got stung by an angry wasp. He put some Bactine on it. He lied down and took a rest He felt much better the next morning.

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why did katy fall off her bike?

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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please dis this joke, I want to get to the bottom of the leaderboard!

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There once was a man who had a penis that was so big, his girlfriend liked it a lot. A year later they got married and had kids, but then the man lost his accounting job and things went downhill.

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What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall? He hurts his face.

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What would happend if two nyan cats crashed into each other? It would be a great impact and we'd all be sad.

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*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Wheres my tractor?

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops