Roses are red, Violets are blue, Does this smell like chloroform to you?

why did the car drive off the cliff? The driver was a potato...

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

What's worse than some one spitting in your food Hitler revealing he's actually a Jew

What's Brown and dirty? Dirt

Q:What Did The Man Say When He Lost His Body A:Nothing He Die. Because If You Ever Lost Your Body You Would Die...

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. Our fast paced American society holds little value for birds of any species and this particular chicken was flattened by Ford F-150.

What's the difference between liberals and communists? Nothing.

What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

what did the dead cat say to the dead dog? Nothing, they're dead

A Priest and a young child walk into a dark alley.... It leads to a church and he talks to the young boy about God

In the weeks following the original release of Die Hard, reports sprung up across the nation of impressionable boys overdosing while masturbating.

Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

How did the boyfriend react when the girlfriend told him she was pregnant? Nothing.. He already changed his number and packed up his things and moved out of the state

Person 1 - Have you heard about the movie about constipation? Person 2 - No. Person 1 - It hasn't come out yet

A man walks into a bar, drinks a few beers, then calls a taxi to take him home because he knew the risks of drunk driving.

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

Your mom is so fat, that she has unsightly stretch marks.

How do u stop sky from being gay. You don't

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the poll booth to vote on a law restricting the questioning of chickens destination and furthermore to let chickens cross with out ridicule.

Two men go hunting and one has a sudden heart attack. The other man calls 911 and immediately tells the operator his location and the nature of the emergency. Rescue workers arrive on the scene in a timely manner and the man makes a full recovery.

what did the boy say? please please please please goout with me

"Hey, why won't you let me through?" "These tickets are fake." "No they aren't. LOOK OVER THERE!" The guard turns around, and then turns back. Minorly inconvenienced, he arrests the man immediately, upon which he is sent to jail and anally raped multiple times.

Paddy and mick were walking down the street when they saw some traffic lights. They proceeded to cross the road and continue on their journey.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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