Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It heard you like to choke the chicken.

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Why was the turtle blue? He wasn't you are color blind.

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How did little Jimmy survive the 20 story fall? He couldn't he died from the last fall, aren't you paying attention?

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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Roses are red Violets are blue What about green? That seems mean...

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What do cats eat for breakfast? Cat food.

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What's funnier than slapping a girl? Calling the cops on the person who slapped her.

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Q:What do you say to an albino man that will always get his attention? A:His name.

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Why couldn't the black man swim. Because he had never been taught.

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Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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Knock Knock. Who'se there? It's Dave. Dave who? Um, you invited me over here. Open the damn door.

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What's sicker than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill death ratio

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Why didn't Johnny get into college? Because Johnny is retarded.

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What do you call two black guys holding up a store? Really strong.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Do you have a minute to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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What is red and has seven dents? Snow White's Cherry.

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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Why Do Girls Have holes?? For the guys poles.

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What do you call a bunch of black people hanging out in a barn? African American farmers socializing.

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What did Tim say about his wife cheating on him with his best friend's wife? He ran to R Kelly and got peed on.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops