Why was the American patriot sad that Bin-Laden was killed? Because he wanted to take him back to America to touture him.

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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The more I learn to understand myself, the more true I am towards my values the less human I feel. The irony is, that there will always be other humans feelng the same.

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what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

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What's worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? 1 dead baby in 12 trash cans.

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why did the boy have no friends? cause he was smelly

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your hair smells nice, especially when woven into a sweater.

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what's purple and tastes like a grape? a grape.

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So yesterday I went to find a pair of camo pants, And I did

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What did the banker say to the other banker? We're both bankers!

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How do you stop a train? You don't, unless your the conductor in which case you would hit the brake.

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What has three legs, 6 notches, 8 wheels, is beige, has cancer, and is severely burnt? I don't know.

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why did the car drive off the cliff? The driver was a potato...

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What did the Crippled Orphan get for Christmas Cancer

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Why did little Timmy start crying? He was shot.

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A cockroach walks into a bar. The bar seems to have a pest problem.

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Why was the man sad? His wife left

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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Two muffins were in an oven. One muffin said "Wow, its hot in here." The other muffin said "Oh my gosh a talking muffin!" The house burnt down because the oven created a fire.

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A man walks into a bar, has a drink, pays the bartender, and leaves.

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What do you get if you give a black man more than 5 watermelons? Jeff the Killer.

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What was Billy for Halloween? A pirate

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Other Guy: What are you looking at? Me: You.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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