How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light he said get the fuck out the way!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q:Why did the boy cry? A: because his mom was hit by a bus Q: why did the boy wipe his face? A:he was covered in his mother blood and threatened all the witness who saw him push his mother into the bus

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whats it called when a pimp slaps a ho? RESPECT

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock Knock knock Knock knock I have outsimers Wait why am i here?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the girl say what's up. she wanted to know what they were doing

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

That's what she didn't say

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walked into a bar Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!! Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

your dad's gay. just let that sink in.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What you reading? reading?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the tree stay home from school? Because, trees don't have school.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops