Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby. Even Stevie Wonder saw that one coming.

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what bounces and is blue all over? a blue bouncy ball

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Yo mama's fat.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "I'm your dog. Please stop having sex with me on Chatubate."

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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How do you count all the jews in a village? The United States Census Bureau usually has reliable data so I would start there

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Q.) What did the young child of a highly idiosyncratic family do when he heard the fire-alarm going off unexpectedly in his house? A.) He started to panic since he hadn't received any portions of formal insturction in the art of, "Stop, drop and roll", prior to the moment of the lamentable catastrophe. I think that we should blame his parents/teachers immediately... *Sigh*

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Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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What did casino dealer say to the other? Every day I'm shuffling.

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Q:What do you call a duck that can fly? A:Bird.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passenger seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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Roses are multicoloured Violets are multicoloured Mushrooms are great

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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Why was the sex offender sweating in the playground? Because he was pushing his over weight son on the swing.

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I drive a 'rarri

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What do you have when you take the gun, badge and uniform away from a cop? A man in his underwear.

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knock knock who's there peedo peedo who scissors

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ghuieruioytidhfdvbshdkhfjh

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-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

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You wanna hear something dirty? A pile of garbage. That's dirty.

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how do jews pay for a $1200 Tv. they play $1000.

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How do you tell the difference between a bomb and an Asian? One blows up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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