Your Mom!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

Your Mom

thumb_up thumb_down

Has u seen my grammar?

thumb_up thumb_down

I was watching this movie..... its over now.

thumb_up thumb_down

A black guy and a white guy jump out of a tree, who hits the ground first? They both hit at the same time while sustaining minor injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down

Nero, I have 30 million dollars left, lets split them and leave ground zero behind us, I know it would make me happy to share them with you.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happens when you leave Toby alone in your house? He eats your carpet, some pillows, ur dog, ned, neds dog and a glass panel. This is why 2 +h = plugger +Mount Everest (I is potato annoying). Bonjour.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Nothing, fish can't talk and it died on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

thumb_up thumb_down

Two Iranians walk into an airport They show their passports and proceed to fly to their home in Minnesota

thumb_up thumb_down

This is Nero, the guy striving a bit with the fact that he killed his mother in order to save his wife a month or so before Christmas: cathphra is Exceedingly well read, I say than you. I had a nightmare tonight, my parents where serving tomato soup, while my mother made great food (despite the fact they discovered that it was not angel dust she used, but large quantities of opiate that would have killed an elephant) But this time they served me dry tomato soup (that from packages) and a bowl of lukewarm soup. I asked: How am I supposed to mix this? They both gave me the look of "here comes a beating" I started calling my mother many things that horsehead network sensors, then my father grabbed my neck and tried to twist my head off (and in this dream, rather than in reality, he actually succeeded) but I somehow managed to remain alive. Then I yelled in english: THIS IS BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! I HAVE NO SOUL TO TAKE! Only then I realized it was a dream and woke up...You know, because my parents never spoke English so they would not have understood me... I have a broken vertebrae in my neck to prove that my father tried quite hard to break my neck in reality at least... Yeah, I am mostly over it, I killed my father when he tried to break my neck because I kept scatching my ortopedic arm while studying (real arm which my mother cut off and then proceeded to beat me up with funny story actually) Then killed my mother years later when she stabbed my girlfriend induced under what turned out to be a heavy dose of opiates, and paralgin forte (which main ingredent is... you guessed it MORE opiates).

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the african child get for his birthday? water, it is a very scare resource were he comes from and is considered a great present

thumb_up thumb_down

<!-- alert('I lost the game'); -->

thumb_up thumb_down

whats worse than 2 people dying? 3 people dying.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What's the worst part of 3 Mexicans dying in a car accident? A: They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down

PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down

Why does Spongebob go to work? Because he's ready.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

thumb_up thumb_down

A boy says he is going to commit suicide. To stop him, a friend tells him not to do it, he'll regret it later in life.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't the old man see? Because he was stabbed in the eye.

thumb_up thumb_down

Dylan F fell off a bridge Landed in some water and was ok 2 days later he got bit by a shark He is now in a coma

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down

Stephen Hawkins walks into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops