How do you stop a cat from urinating on your floor? Shoot it.

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Know who had straight parents? Adolf Hitler.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Why did Justin Beiber fall out of a plane? Because i pushed him off

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how many black people are... wait stereotypical jokes are for fags

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Romeny or Obama? Obamney

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whats worse, being kicked in the balls or giving birth? losing an arm to meningitis

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What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

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Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Your doorbell is broken.

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What do you call a black Santa Claus A N i g g e r that doesn't exist

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A guy walks in to a bar, waving a gun around. He acidentally shoots himself in the foot He died from the bloodloss.

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Two people are walking down the street, unaware of the highly polluted environment and that they could save a life.

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Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Guess no ones home.

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What happpens when a Jew walks into a wall with a boner? He breaks his nose

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Yes, I'll have the cordon bleu, see voo play.

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

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Why is there a dead pakistani on my couch? Because someone put him there.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater!

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lipstick pig

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whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

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titanic vs 9/11 who would win? Well the titanic backwards is a ship which saves lives and 9/11 backwards is a building on fire spitting out airplanes

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Why did Helen Keller always ride in the passenger seat? so she could SUCK THE DRIVERS D!CK!!!!!!!!!

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A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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