When is a door not a door? When your burns down.

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I slipped and fell in the shower today. Good thing my dad caught me

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What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

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Want to hear a funny joke? Womens rights.

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what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Why did suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms... Why couldn't she get back up? -she had no friends

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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Q: What Would You Call Someone Who is 6 Foot and hairy. Answer: By His Or Her Name.

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Knock Knock Come in.

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Whats sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going off a cliff? A Caddy fits five.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Our experimental treatment for Anterograde amnesia has failed. I will inform your family.

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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A man walks into a bar.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Lil' Wayne

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A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

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Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

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Whats 10 times worse than a war? Ten wars.

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why am i sore i bummed a giraffe

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A homeless man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says it'll be $4.50. The homeless man doesn't have any money so he leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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