Hi

What is blue and feels like a shirt? A blue shirt.

Roses are red Violets are orange Thats odd, my violets are somehow orange

What is worse than adolf hitler? Justin beiber

What's worse than getting tripped? Getting shot.

What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

Yo mama so fat that.....NooNoooNooooooo (strips)

What do you call a boy with no arms? Names.

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he has a serious anger problem.

A boy says he is going to commit suicide. To stop him, a friend tells him not to do it, he'll regret it later in life.

How do you make a puppy stop barking? Throw a brick at it.

Why did the fortune cookie taste bad? I forgot to take the wrapper off.

a white kid is called on by his teacher he is promptly sent to the principle's office after not complying.

Knock Knock. I paid good money for a doorbell. Use it, please.

What's brown and green, has six legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

how do you get a mexican to fall off of a cliff? you push them off

why did the semen cross the road? i wore the wrong sock today.

why did the chicken cross the road? because it could not afford sandals.

what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

Has u seen my grammar?

your moms soooooo FAT that she went on a diet and became really sexy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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