whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

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Why couldnt the boy poop? Because he was staring right in his eye.

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What's Worse Than Unripened Fruit? Crippling Depression.

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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No, we are all different, none of us are the same, you however, have no match, your ability to think influence and inspire even today, is unmatched. It is he who is unmatched, who stands alone.

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What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

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What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels in your presence? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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Why did the boy get hit by the bus? He didn't check both sides before crossing

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he

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So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

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what is Justin Bieber+ One Less Lonely girl.... A BABY

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Get off my porch.

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What happened to the jew that donated? Stop thinking, jews dont donate.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus !

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A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

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Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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Roses are red, Violets are BLACK!

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womens rights

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What's green, long, and covered in forks? Grass. I lied about the forks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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