Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink.

your mommas so fat i like fat cows is she home?

I like my kids how i like my coffee I dont like coffee

Roses are red. Violets blue i do fuck people. MAYBE u too?

What do you call a blank white sheet of paper? Printer paper most likely

How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? It fell.

What player wears number 8 and plays for liverpool? Steven Gerrard

What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

What did one man say to the other? "hi other man"

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

What did the foot say to the other foot? Nothing, because they are feet.

What can u see in the dark that u can't see in the light? Absolutely nothing

Not at all Nero, if humanity itself where better, you would never have had that pain you rather than carry seems to be stuck to you, what you call your armor, sounds more like a cage to me, it is no wonder that you lose faith in those that drag you down while you find peace and hope within yourself by helping them. I believe you got every right to lose hope in humanity at times, in my eyes you have always been much greater than them, you just seem to believe that if you fail at helping others, then you have failed yourself, remember that there are too many people that surrender in this world, that do not want to be helped back on their own feet rather than to be "shown the only way", you said it yourself, monkey see, monkey do is easy, too easy, and you never take the easy way. I am sorry if I copy your methods too much, it might seem to others as if you are chatting with yourself, which is just crazy, insane. silly, lets just say again that you just got a admirer in me, it cant be helped. Does this bother you?

What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

Guy: "Did you hear about the guy who cried wolf?" Friend: "Yes. He was pulling your leg. People cry tears not wolves." Guy: "How did you know he was pulling my leg?" Friend: "If you look down, he's still there pulling it."

How do you kill a politician? You set him on fire and stab him in the back 20 times.

Throw your crépe right into an ocean Where an octopus can get it in all the commotion With the crépe and the ocean and the oc-to-pus

Q. What does physiks sound to most of the people? A. There were two camels, one was green, how much does the sand weight when its dark?

Johnny: One day dad i will be tall like you! (Later that day johnny was found dead in a garbage bag)

Say this fast: Alpha kenny body sofa king hard with mike hawk. :)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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