Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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You're flying over a lake in your canoe and the wheels fall off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? None! because ice-Cream doesn't have legs!

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Knock knock Get off my porch.

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what does a gay horse eat heeyyyyy

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What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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What did bob order at pizza hut? Pizza

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: A deaf guy

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Why did my pussy get wet? Because I splashed him with water. LOL SO FUNNY OMFG DA BEST JOKE EVA!!

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Two farmers are sitting in a cold field. One asks, "Cold day, isn't it?" The other farmer doesn't respond as he has been frozen to death and because of his death, he is unable to respond.

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I dont know if you know this but i have a penis

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Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

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Roses are red Violets are blue we're going to have sex because i'm stronger than you

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Because She had no arms. Why did suzie fall off again? Becauze Jimmy was trying to snipe her in the head the first time

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What did the blonde say to the man when he asked her what time it was? 6:34 pm

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Q: What did the man do when he won the lottery? A: He kept it for himself and left his family.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your Apple ? The holocust .

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The joke below is absolute shit.

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Hi rebecca , its me that guy over there. purple moneky blue dishwasher. aka JUMANJIIII

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Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but GET IN THE VAN

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

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A man is writing with a #2 pencil. He looks down and sees that it says "Made in China." He shrugs and continues writing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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