A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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What happened when the prisoner dropped the soap? He picked it up.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

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Q: How many dwarfs does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1 or 2. One to change the light bulb and maybe another one to guards the staircase for the safety of the first one when the ceiling is too high (Wich happens almost every time because they are dwarfs.)

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Why was the boy not feeling well? He swallowed a piano.

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A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

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Paddy and mick were walking down the street when they saw some traffic lights. They proceeded to cross the road and continue on their journey.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin.

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Why does the groom wear a black tux? Because he knows a funeral when he sees one.

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Adam Sandler is still funny ! *cough*

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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"Knock Knock," "Whos There?" "The Pizza Guy" "I hate pizza."

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what do you call two arabs flying a plane? a pilot and a co-pilot

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers... how about you.

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Wanna hear my impersonation of a homosexual man? I am attracted to men.

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why am i sore i bummed a giraffe

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If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvatore Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Your mom is so fat, that she has unsightly stretch marks.

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I heard you like getting dirty, so I got a dump truck to dump dirt on your bed so you can get dirty while you get dirty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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