A Muslim walks into a bar. BOOM

thumb_up thumb_down +45

An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +43

if i had a nickel for every time iv typed an anti joke... i would have $0.15

thumb_up thumb_down +41

I like pancakes. I like pancakes. We have no pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a deer with no eyes? The victim of a freak genetic mutation and extremely susceptible to predators, meaning it will live a short life in the wilderness.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

thumb_up thumb_down +41

This is a haiku A lovely type of poem It's snowing on Mt. Fuji

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What happens when you cross a vampire and a werewolf? A cross between a vampire and a werewolf.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory? She made skittles.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

thumb_up thumb_down +35

kevin kim

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why didn't the blind girl go to the party? She wasn't invited!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's black, white, and red all over? A pile of dead nuns.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the dude fall? Because he tripped over a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a convicted serial killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's been brutally cut open.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A kid goes to Band Camp and comes back better at the Trumpet.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops