What do you call a muffin with frosting? A cupcake

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Knock Knock. Did someone outside the front door just say "Knock Knock"?

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What boy with no arms get on his birthday? Lego.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a tumor Doctors give it 6 weeks before I die...

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What's the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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what do obama and terrorist have in common -they are both human

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Q. What do you call cheese that's not yours? A. Stolen, you're under arrest.

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What is brown and sticky? A chocolate ice cream made with too much margarine and not enough of the ice mixture used to make Mr Whippy

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the little boy? May God be with you.

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what did the crocodile say to the fish? OMNOMNOMNOMNOM!! and then the fish swam away because of the the weird noise the crock was making...

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What happened to the boy who ditched his friends and lied to them...? His appendix exploded.

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Please Rape William Wright

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A man hits a woman while driving. Whose fault is it? The mas. He was out drinking that night and shouldn't have gotten in his car in the first place.

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How do you drop a raw egg on to the floor without cracking it? Any way you want, it is very hard to crack concrete.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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whats thin, long and hard? A: a pen is

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender? A: None. It is a sick and depraved act that is probably illegal anyway.

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What starts with 'P' and ends with 'orn'? Popcorn.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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