I began as a dreamer, then I became a visionary, then I saw my dream come true, until it shattered us all. Do you believe that perhaps, there are people out there, trying to stop the world from reaching a better age?

A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

What's the worst part about censorship? **** *** **** **** *** **** *** ********.

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

Roses are grey Violets are gray Tulips are grey Lilly's are grey Dandelions are grey Daisy's are grey Daffodils are grey I am colour blind.

What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

Womens' sports

you know what rhymes with sloth. rape

Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

a disabled person walked into a bar..oh wait

what did the horse say to the bartender? why the short face?

Rishi is a funny guy, well he thinks he is. true story.

why did the mexican beat your ass larry clark III because you live in a apartment with your mom and dad who are black your dad has a truck your mom recked her car

What do you call a room with a white man a black man and a hot pocket? A reasonable meal

What did the alcoholic say to his priest? I'm Drunk. The priest says "Your drunk go home". He barely makes it.

What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

What do you call a pool filled with black people? A pool

What's behind Chuck Norris' beard? His chin

why did billy fall down? Because he is mentaly retarted and was just plain stupid.

A Christian asks God why there is so much pain and suffering in the world. Everyone around him moves away from the grown man talking to his imaginary friend.

How would you punish Helen Keller? Make her read a basketball.

When Kurt Cobain was little, his mother told him to never play with guns but I guess it went through one ear and out the other.

What's the bright side of Jimmy only having one leg? There isn't one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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