How do you register on webkinz? You put a rope around a durable shower neck, & then hang yourself with it.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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69

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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Would anyone like to contribute to my slush fund?

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Jerry.

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How do you call a dog with no legs? You can't call it, you have to go and pick it up.

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what did the old man say to the older man? "hey".

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the fat boy named biggins ate a twinkie, a man named scruffy came along and shot biggins, now biggins has no nose

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Q. why did I get hurt A. My pants fell off

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One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

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Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

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Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

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Women's rights

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why did timmy die he was shot in the head by terrorists

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Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

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Why did the imagrint cross the road? Cuz he stole the chickin's job.

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Whats better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why is a blonde girl crying in the bathroom? Because she has been bullied and someone broke her nose.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken had no legs and was therefore incapable of committing to such a challenge.

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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What's red, green, and goes about 200 mph A fire hidrent I lied about the green and the 200 mph

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a person and one is a pizza.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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