Whats better than having 5 dollars? Having 5 dollars and a pizza

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Whats the similairity between a dog and a cat? They're both cats, except for the dog.

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These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

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Whats the difference between a 100 dead babies and a ferrari? One is an automobile and the other is a tragic reminder that SIDS is a serious and deadly problem.

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Roses are red violets are blue if you were number one I"ll pick number two, if you were number two then I'll pick POO!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he f**king felt like it!

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Jenny tried out for the school play. She got a callback the next day. Her father had died.

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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What's 9+10? 19

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Why the bird can't fly? Because i cutt off his wings.

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two men walked into a bar the last one ducked

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i hate christians and muslims, until drugs are involved. iduno what dat is, i try it.

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Why was the Mexican smart? Because he was very well educated and went to college, and got a Ph.D

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Is J.P. dumb? Yes

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What did the bowl of cereal say? Can I have some milk?

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What would an ice hockey player do if the ice melted? Walk off, as the ice is only 3/4 of an inch thick.

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What's worse then breaking your xbox? Going on a 24 kill streak and having itchy balls.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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In Soviet Russia... People Die for Voicing their Opinions

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when the teacher asked jimmy if he was a girl jimmy felt very scared because his teacher had no mental problems.

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Knock knock Who's this? Your neighbor Yes can I help you? Hi, I'm new around here, can you help me find the closest gas station? Turn right over there pass 2 traffic lights it will be on your left Okay, thank you You're welcome

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A man knocks on a wooden door. A woman says who is it?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops