Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

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Whats black and has white cream in it? Oreos

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What happpens when a Jew walks into a wall with a boner? He breaks his nose

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Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

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What happens when a black man spills all of his grape soda? He cleans it up and recycles the empty can

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What happened when the zombie walked into the blonde lady convention? He went home hungry.

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Once upon a time, The end.

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Why did the Asian man go to bed? Because he was tired

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Why was the black man in prison? He was wrongly accused of a felony and the jury by whom he was tried was largely racist.

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a pineapple

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Why did the black man die of leukemia? Overexposure to radioactive materials due to his career as a nuclear engineer.

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tom pauling

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

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Look whos talking Matt Critchley

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Listen pretty lady, NO WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOING FOR LIKE SIXTEEN HOURS OR SOMETHING NON STOP STRAIGHT, IS VERBOTEN! Honestly, for me its a bit of a requirement, sure girls can go all like "But you are like friendzoned to me now", but then I... Hmm, you know, not a womanizer,my wife has the right word for it, I am a seducer.... Suddenly I do not like the sound of that, actually Its not a bit of a requirement, it is TOTALLY a requirement. Say, does it bother you when I mention my wife like at randomness?

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Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

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What do you get when you mix red and blue? Gang violence.

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What is the difference between a baby and a log? I don't have a log in my fireplace

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What is black, white and red all over? A black man has been shot and a white paramedic is standing over him trying to save his life.

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roses are red violets are blue i'm not a? poet microwave

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How do you kill a retard? you shoot him in the head

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what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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