What is the difference between a black man and a sofa? A black man is a human being with feelings, while a sofa is an inanimate object that people sit on in order to enjoy comfort and possibly watch television.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the wife say to her husband when he arrived home from work? Nothing. She cried over his coffin. Her husband was a marine who died in a car bombing in Iraq.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Scenario: Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub The first one says, "Hey, can you pass the radio please" And the second one replies, "Sorry, my cousins are made of soap."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a woman? Two people of the opposite gender having sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's better than winning the paraplegic Olympics? Walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

52 Prostitutes in a bar. Challenge Accepted.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What would Jesus do? Something worthy of having him nailed to a cross.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

One man's trash is another man's treasure is a horrible way to tell a kid that he's adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats black and white and red all over????? a zebra who got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you tell the difference between a pig and a sea pig? If you open your mouth and it fills with water, you are an idiot

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what is a bracket? a bracket

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is pink, smelly, and sometimes gets wet? A pink sponge.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +9

this is not an anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the lightbulb cross the road? It must have had an external force acting upon it. Lightbulbs are inanimate objects and cannot make decisions or move voluntarily. Someone must have thrown it. It broke. Someone should clean it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

"i see", said the blind man ... ...to his deaf wife... ...while his crippled children jumped for joy....

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: why did the blind man walk off the bridge? A: because he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

if girls witth big boobs work at hooters where does the girl with one leg work.... walmart

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why can't James swim at 2010 summer ? because james died at 2009

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops