Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first Monkey. Why did the third Monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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Q.What has flashing lights and really bad dancing A.Baby haveing an eppilectic fit

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On a deserted island in the middle of nowhere three women have just been in a horrible boat wreck. They are okay and alive. One is a lovely smart brunette. An appealing ginger. And a blond.. named Becky. They take shelter when one of them notices a shimmer in the sand. They pick it up to discover that it was a golden lamp. They rub it and a blue cloud of smoke consumes them. Then a magnificent Guinnie appears and says "You have awoken me from my 10,000 year encasement inside that lamp! I shall grant you 3 wishes to show you my sincere gratitude." The brunette wishes for a plane so she can fly home. The ginger wishes for a boat to sail back home. The blonde was lonely so she wished that the brunette and the ginger were back with her.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Shut up.

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Q: What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A: A lot of things.

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What did the guy say to the blonde? "You're a blonde."

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Why was the boy hit by a bus? Because the driver is a homicidal sociopath.

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "i have aids."

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The last time Jesse saw his **** was the day..........oh wait it's never happened

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What do you call a penguin in the desert? A penguin.

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69

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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why was the boy sad. his father is an alcoholic that beats him daily.

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How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic men? 25

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Why didn't the man go to work? He got stabbed.

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What srtarts with "P" and ends in "orn"? Popcorn

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Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

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What's the difference between a hippopotamus? An orangutan.

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Two gorillas walked into a bar and it hurt

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Nock nock Whos there? The mailman, I have a package for you. Thank you.

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Lets go Yankees

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How did Princess Diana cross the road? Through the windshield

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops