What happened when the zombie walked into the blonde lady convention? He went home hungry.

tom pauling

Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

Why Can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

What is yellow and corny? Corn.

What is the difference between a baby and a log? I don't have a log in my fireplace

what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

roses are red violets are blue i'm not a? poet microwave

What is black, white and red all over? A black man has been shot and a white paramedic is standing over him trying to save his life.

My kids are mistakes.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh

Whats scary about the asian man driving a car? He was blind

Why'd the girl fall of her scooter? She fell into a hole and died. She was never found again. All that was left was her scooter.

Did the boy ever tell you how he died? Trick questions he's dead, deceased bodies can't talk.

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

I walked into an elevator with Ray Rice...

What do you call a guy and two girls are at the bottom of the ocean? A guy and two girls at the bottom of the ocean.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he had poor coordination.

Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

Q:If Ryan Vallee walks into a room what do you do? A:Walk out -Ryan V

whats 2+2? 4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...