Mom: Ask me if you're adopted Boy: Am I adopted? Mom: yes

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

knock knock? who's there? ted? ted who? stop f***ing around, you got cancer.

Knock knock Who's there? No one you care bout so why did u say who's there?

Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

How many jews does it take to stop hitler. no one knows they didn't

What did the terminally sick child dream of? I dont know. He never woke up to tell me.

If a little boy teleported to mars how fast would he get there? Little boys are incapable of breaking down their molecular structure in order to send their individual particles faster than the speed of light in any given direction. Thus this question is illogical and can not be answered.

Q: What did the dog say to the cat? A: animals don't talk

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

whats helen kellers favorite activity fingering herself

Apparently I'm an unfit father, cuz all I know is dope and all I got is 30 dollas

Too bad, because UNTIL YOUR FUCKING "POWER OF HUMAN KIND" CAN SUMMON UP A FUCKING EYEBALL! NOTHING WILL MAKE UP FOR THIS SHIT! "Oh, my the good old phonebook, I will... Now... try... to... seduce... you... with... my... "goodness" As far as "oh I know where you live", well nobody here is hiding fagface! So you come out of your "darkness or shadows or whatever" and let me stab out both your fucking eyes! And we are STILL NOT GOOD! And yeah, have your faggots stop calling themselves Nero.

It's valentines today! My girlfriend died.

How many Jews does it take to fill a shower? As many as it does to fill an ash tray.

How did the young child react when a bullet went through his head? He fell to the ground and his heart stopped beating.

whats the difference between G. Bush and a rock? Bush (bull)shits and rock doesn't

What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

what did the man say to his boss? Hello boss

So how does the chicken cross the road? He doesn't, chickens live on farms.

Do you know what color comes after 9?

Knock knock. *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...