Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Whatever his parents named him

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A priest and a rabii walk into a bar. Both men, despite both being good people and well respected in their communities, aren't able to overcome their differences which are signified by their religions. Both men later leave the bar and surround themselves with people of their own kin.

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i drive all the time its no big deal open the door and get behind the wheel

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What's the difference between a bird and a pool table? Both of them fly, except for the pool table.

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a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an 0rgy.

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"You're not very subtle, are you?" asked Nyacinth of the Prince. "Coo-fif," replied the Prince, a sly smile on his face.

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What's funnier then 24... The Holocost

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What did hitler say to Osama Bin Laden? Nothing they were born at different times

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What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad seen that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

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you wanna hear a funny joke? so do I

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Why do elephants have such big ears? So they can hear really well.

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Why did the loser end up in hospital? Because he was smoking glue.

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

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What did the man say to the woman? get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

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Why did the blond fail her math test? Because she got all the questions wrong.

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Q: What's wrong with being gay A: Nothing is wrong with anybody because we're all human

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What is brown and has 15 legs? (They answer "What?") Reply: I don't know I was hoping you would.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - Could you please take a look at my neck it has been hurting there for several weeks now.

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whats the difference between justin beiber and a gay guy? both guys and girls like gay guys

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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