Knock Knock. Who's There. Teenage Pregnancy

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Q) What's worse than getting dumped by text? A) Getting hit by a fridge.

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What happened to the man who bought his son a birthday gift? He eventually was robbed and shot in the face

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Wow did you see stevie wonder's new house. neither has he

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how many boys does it take to use 4 computers? 4.

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pickle sniffer

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Sometimes an alligator will bring you apples. Sometimes it won't.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What's the difference between a cat and a banana? Bananas don't scream as much when you peel them.

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There was Jew, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Mexican guy at the store. The store was called Walmart.

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What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did Sally cross the road? She didn't, she got hit by my car.

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What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing they're rocks? What did the tree say to the other tree? Nothing they're both trees? What did the pillow say to the other pillow? Nothing they're both pillows? What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

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A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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A handicapp walks into a bar

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What did Britney Spears say to the Mexican? Hit me baby Juan more time.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a cannibal and like to burn people.

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Knock knock Who's there? You're adopted.

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Girl : What's a anti joke ? Boy : it's you .

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How do you stop a train? You don't, unless your the conductor in which case you would hit the brake.

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whats worse than failing your maths test? getting aids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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