Pick up Lines skeet skeet skeet! JLR

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Q) What's worse than getting a parking ticket? A) The Black Death

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Why does beyonce sing "to the left to the left?" cause women have no rights

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Two men walk into a bar.........ouch.

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What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Leukemia.

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why was the frog sad..... because it had a science lesson with the year 10s about the insides of animals

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What has a mouth but cant talk Helen keller What has eyes but cant see Helen keller What has ears but cant hear You guessed it an ear of corn

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What does an emu an a kiwi have in common? Both are flightless birds endemic to there own countries.

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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Why didn't Angie die when she jumped off the Empire State Building? She landed on a pancake

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Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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What did johanne buy when she got pregnant? A staircase

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Is Charlie Sheen bi-polar? Yes.

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What did the Egyptian helicopter do when it went into the pyramid? Exploded.

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What's black and doesn't work? My Blackberry, but luckily it was still under guarantee and the situation was solved swiftly and relatively drama free.

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there was a pre school teacher and he told the children to draw a squirell. One boy breaks into tears because his entire family was slaughtered by a pack of squirrels. This upset the teacher

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Hillary Clinton

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What is it called when you kill a gay man? Homocide

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What do you call two men kissing? Gay.

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Why was the little boy crying He had a frog stapled to his head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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