I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

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Why don't lesbians use dildoes? Because they look just like a big penises.

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What's worse than a baby in a trash can The holocaust

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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what do you call a bear with socks on A bear with socks on

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexic. Fcuk!

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this girl and guy were sitting on my couch turns out its my sister and her boyfriend and she just farted

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What do you do on Mother's Day? This is not a joke, I don't know what to do.

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a blond walks in to a post... OUCH

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How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house. Just kidding. Micky Mouse isn't real.

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what did the doctor say to the guy with a bullet in his arm you have a bullet in your arm

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What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Pirate math.

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What is the delicate way to start talking about your penis? ...that wasn't it.

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Knock Knock Who's There? It's Me. Oh, OK. Come On In.

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Who was sorry when the fat kid fell over last year? The whole of Japan.

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Jon has 50 chocolate candy bars Jon eats 45 of them. What does Jon have? Diabetes...

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What's the difference between a turtle and a fish? Turtles aren't fish.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

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A woman walks into the kitchen to make a sandwich because she is hungry and she likes sandwiches.

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What's worse than losing one of your socks? Being jewish during the holocaust

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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Why did the black man say "I been done did that?" He was speaking ebonics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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