What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

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How could the teacher tell that the student was dead? logic

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NEVER

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Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

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-Ask me if i'm a crab. -Are you a crab? -No, why would i be a crab?

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If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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You will never see the a heaven made of pure light with no room for darkness to dwell? Pure light will make you blind, living forever in darkness.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Teacher- And that is why the Pythagorean theorem only works for RIGHT triangles. Any questions? Student- I like grapes.

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What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

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Do you know whats sad? Global Warming Do you know why the polar bears are dying? Aids

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How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

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why am i sore i bummed a giraffe

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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When is a door not a door? When your burns down.

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How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

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what does the homeless man do when he gets home? nothing, he's homeless

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What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

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Why was the little girl sad? Because she was brutally raped up the ass

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Why is cheese yellow? Answer: I don't know, I was hoping that you would know.

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Lets Go Lakers!

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Knock knock Who's there? Hector Hector who? ....I forgot the rest of the joke but your mom is a whore.

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Where's my baby??

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What do a fish and a frog have in common? They can both live in water. Its a well known fact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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