how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did moral man run out of morals? Moral: LEAVE MORAL MAN ALONE! BUAHAHAHA LEAVE HIM ALONE! BUAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Not at all Nero, if humanity itself where better, you would never have had that pain you rather than carry seems to be stuck to you, what you call your armor, sounds more like a cage to me, it is no wonder that you lose faith in those that drag you down while you find peace and hope within yourself by helping them. I believe you got every right to lose hope in humanity at times, in my eyes you have always been much greater than them, you just seem to believe that if you fail at helping others, then you have failed yourself, remember that there are too many people that surrender in this world, that do not want to be helped back on their own feet rather than to be "shown the only way", you said it yourself, monkey see, monkey do is easy, too easy, and you never take the easy way. I am sorry if I copy your methods too much, it might seem to others as if you are chatting with yourself, which is just crazy, insane. silly, lets just say again that you just got a admirer in me, it cant be helped. Does this bother you?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why the f*** do so many people ask this question?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What can u see in the dark that u can't see in the light? Absolutely nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: How did the woman die in the black neighborhood? A: She suffered a fatal heart attack while visiting one of her friends. Everyone mourned their loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Guy: "Did you hear about the guy who cried wolf?" Friend: "Yes. He was pulling your leg. People cry tears not wolves." Guy: "How did you know he was pulling my leg?" Friend: "If you look down, he's still there pulling it."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So like i was like 3 and I was like stupid or something I was only three, come on! three

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Violets are blue I am disabled, so please help me poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you kill a politician? You set him on fire and stab him in the back 20 times.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the little pig squeal? Because he was going through blades at a slaughter house.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Johnny: One day dad i will be tall like you! (Later that day johnny was found dead in a garbage bag)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did bob say tothe ugly duckling? your ugly and a duckling

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. What does physiks sound to most of the people? A. There were two camels, one was green, how much does the sand weight when its dark?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Throw your crépe right into an ocean Where an octopus can get it in all the commotion With the crépe and the ocean and the oc-to-pus

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Say this fast: Alpha kenny body sofa king hard with mike hawk. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Sometimes when you drink sperm you choke

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock ? Whose's there ? The person you should be opening the door for The person you should be opening the door for who? Oh my god Frank open the goddamn door

thumb_up thumb_down +4

i homeless man asked for ome change. he didnt get any because people were afraid he would spend it on drugs

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the hispanic muslim woman vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 primaries? Because she lives in Connecticut where the primaries have not yet taken place.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops