why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

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You know what's funny? Clowns.

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Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

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Why cant helen keller drive Because shes a woman

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what's 9+10? 19, not 21

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how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

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Knock knock Who's there? Batman Batman who? Because he was

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh no! Someone's been murdered in my garden!

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A fish swims into a wall. It does not say anything, seeing as fish do not possess vocal chords and therefore are incapable of speech.

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whats funny about a jew burning? Nothing......

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Q-why did the dog run away? A-he was Michael vick's dog

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How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

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Okay, so your school has a fire drill, and a ginger asks why the alarm went off. You reply, “Some new kid saw your hair and pulled the fire alarm

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What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

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What did Helen Keller do when she found a dead body? Nothing.

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What's the difference between a BMW and a murder victim? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

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What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

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never bring a knife to a gun fight. bring a sword.

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how do you make time fly? throw a clock out a window.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck on the way.

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What did Helen Keller say to the leper? Buaaaaguuuhloo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops