your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q.) What did the young child of a highly idiosyncratic family do when he heard the fire-alarm going off unexpectedly in his house? A.) He started to panic since he hadn't received any portions of formal insturction in the art of, "Stop, drop and roll", prior to the moment of the lamentable catastrophe. I think that we should blame his parents/teachers immediately... *Sigh*

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock knock Who's there The police "people began to jump out the back window"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Yo mama's fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Erectile Dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "I'm your dog. Please stop having sex with me on Chatubate."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

your mom is so fat, shes not skinny

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How many Legos can you stick up your nose? I'm sure its very painful and considered stupid so don't try it.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

If it wasn't for my horse I'd never go to college.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Your mother's so fat that when she goes through rotating doors, the doors rotate around her.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whats In My Trash? Bears

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I just witnessed a horrible accident today! It was like a silent movie, but with SOUND!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's red and invisible? We don't know that it's red.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why was the sex offender sweating in the playground? Because he was pushing his over weight son on the swing.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why does little susie enjoy her life? Because it was her birthday 364 days ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

My daughter is dying of AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did Princess Diana die? Because she deserved it!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

you: your adopted me: i was so thanks for saying you ass

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did the black man die? A white man killed him. He was a member of the KKK.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Add William Wright On Facebook Answer- www.facebook.com/public/William-Wright

thumb_up thumb_down -41

There was a man workin at the supermarket, when a cow with a hat entered. He realized that it couldn't be really happening and had to be a dream. Effectively: he was dreaming. Actually, he was in jail, and his execution was scheduled for that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops