Q. Why do Italian men have mustaches? A. So they can look like their mothers.

My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

How do you kill an Asian? Poke him with a large fork until hes dead.

Two Drunks walk out of a bar. They look down an alley and see a dog licking his balls. The first drunk says" Man, I wish I could do that." The second guy replies " Well you better pet him first."

Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

We are lawyers

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks have herbivorous diet mainly consisting of wild grasses, berries, as well as agricultural crops when they are available.

Mama Bear and Papa Bear were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Bear a choice of which parent to live with. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! She beats me." answers the baby bear. "OK, then you can live with your father." says the judge. "No! He beats me too!" cries baby bear. So Baby Bear was placed in a foster home.

How long is a china man?

What happened to the soccer player when he got kicked in the leg..... He cried on the ground for hours even though there is padding there

What's worse than a baby in a trash can The holocaust

Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day... set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

What has many legs, but can't walk? A dead spider.

What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

Colby Michael Schluter

What did the blonde say to the brunette? We both have hair

Q: why did the pie cross the road? A: Pie is not a living thing and has no way of transportation, therefor the pie did not cross the road.

Bean.

How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

Knock Knock Not Yet

Why did the little pig squeal? Because he was going through blades at a slaughter house.

Roses are red Violets are red The grass is red OH MY GOD, THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!

what did bob say tothe ugly duckling? your ugly and a duckling

How did a baby get across the street? Stapled to a chicken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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