Yo mama's so fat, she weighs 283 pounds.

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Q: whats better than having sex? A: nothing

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Roses are red Violets are blue I forgot to go to the bathroom

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An Irish man walks out of a bar..... 'nuff said

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What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

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heyy emit chase wazzup

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What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

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two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but GET IN THE VAN

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My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

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Why was the girl crying? - Someone pooped on her face.

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Why couldn't little Jeffy find his way to gumdrop palace? Because he was shot

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What's worse than World War II? World War III.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

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HOLY SHIT BITCH!!!

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i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

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How come Kristin cant go play soccer anymore? She broke her leg kicking her brother in the face.

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I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue we're going to have sex because i'm stronger than you

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Two farmers are sitting in a cold field. One asks, "Cold day, isn't it?" The other farmer doesn't respond as he has been frozen to death and because of his death, he is unable to respond.

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Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

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what did the egg say to the boiling water? itll take a while to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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