what's silver and red and keeps crashing into the walls? a baby with forks in its eyes

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

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Q: A boy went to 7-11 and bought Coke instead of 7up. Why? A: I don't know

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Justin's humor

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Why did the dude fall? Because he tripped over a stick.

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Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? All the inventory was destroyed.

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Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

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How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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How do you upset an Mexican? Kill his entire family.

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whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

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Why was the young Jewish boy afraid at camp? Because his scoutmaster is a pedophile.

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whats yellow? lots of things.

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A blonde enters a bar and orders an elevator.

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What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

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what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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Black People

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 7 ate 9.

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What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? One has a complex circulatory system the other is a pizza.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops