A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

Why did the man suck at basketball? Because he is white, 5 foot 2, and has no arms. Posted By: Lram

Jimmy wet his pants in class during geography class. The teacher asked: "Oh Jimmy, why did you do that?" Jimmy answered: "I don't know" Everyone laughed at him and Jimmy went home very sad. And with wet pants.

hey

Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

The Christian Bible.

What's worse than a Holocaust in your apple? What.

Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

Whats better then having 10 fingers Having 11

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Lettuce. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! AAAAHHHH!

Why couldnt the black guy swim? He couldn't swim because he had no parental figures growing up. His dad was part of a gang and his mom was a crack addict. He had noone to teach him how to swim.

Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

Yo mamas so tan she might get skin cancer

i am and me is i

Whats the best part about being alive? Not getting hit by a bus

What did the hungry man do? He ate.

im a dragon, no im not

What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? 2 weeks to live...

bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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