Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

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My mother forgot to make me a sandwich today.

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Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

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Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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hey

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Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

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Why did the man suck at basketball? Because he is white, 5 foot 2, and has no arms. Posted By: Lram

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Jimmy wet his pants in class during geography class. The teacher asked: "Oh Jimmy, why did you do that?" Jimmy answered: "I don't know" Everyone laughed at him and Jimmy went home very sad. And with wet pants.

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know where I am, I'm blind.

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A blind was staring at a girls ass. Her boyfriend promptly bludgeoned the man unaware of his illness.

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Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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Gingers.

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Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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Whats better then having 10 fingers Having 11

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The Christian Bible.

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What's worse than a Holocaust in your apple? What.

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Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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