Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

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Terrorist jokes make me explode with laughter.

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Who thinks amy mc quire is really stuiped

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A snail walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey we don't serve snails here," and flicks him across the street. 3 years later the snails walks back into the bar and said, "why'd ya do that for??"

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Your momma's so fat that she is at risk for heart disease and diabetes.

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Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? All the inventory was destroyed.

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so... how about that airplane food

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A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

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"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms

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Gay's

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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Say silk 5 times. Silk Silk Silk Silk Silk Now what do cows drink? Water.

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A possesed goat: "moo"

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What do you call a person who dies in march A dead person

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What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra!

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What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 7 ate 9.

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What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

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What is the difference between a shark and a human? A shark is a type of fish with a full cartilaginous skeleton and a highly streamlined body and a human is the only living species in the Homo genus.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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