there was a tomatoes and it blew up and died. Why did it blow up? The Nazi's needed ketchup for there Jew Burgers

thumb_up thumb_down -50

whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

thumb_up thumb_down -52

what do you call a man with no @ss? d1ckhead

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Why did the man buy Trojan for his women? It's condom curtsey.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Your mom is so ugly that she was mercilessly bullied throughout high school which led to severe depression and low self-esteem, however she went to college, got a career, found a man who loved her for who she is, not how she looks, and raised a family happily ever after.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

thumb_up thumb_down +45

How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Knock, knock. Who's there? I. I who? I broke my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Think of a number between 2 and 10? 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A black van approaches a small boy. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are red, Violets are BLACK!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops