Q:what's black and white and red all over? A:a panda bear that's been shot in the face.

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What's worse than seeing 5 dead babies on the side of the road? Realizing slavery is banned after buying a perfectly good young black male for a reasonable price at your local walmart.

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What did the man say when he saw a purple cow? Nothing. He was blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Why does Santa Clause not have children? Because he only "comes" once a year

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

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Why did the fat man fall off the balcony? He didn't, I pushed him.

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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby. Even Stevie Wonder saw that one coming.

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What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? You can't unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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what bounces and is blue all over? a blue bouncy ball

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Knock Knock Who's There Your doctor... You have Aids

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"knock knock" "whos there" "poop" "poop who" "poop in the toilet"

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How do you know that you tv has been stolen? It's no longer there.

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what do you call a dead arab? a suicide bomber

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What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

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What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 murdered her little sister

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Why Did The Black Guy Eat Watermelon? Because he lives in south africa where they are commonly grown and needed a healthy snack.

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Whats worse a black person or a white person I feel like all races are equa,l therefore, there is no correct answer

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What did casino dealer say to the other? Every day I'm shuffling.

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What's the difference between a murdered baby and a dead baby? Not much

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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