A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you have when you take the gun, badge and uniform away from a cop? A man in his underwear.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Roses are multicoloured Violets are multicoloured Mushrooms are great

thumb_up thumb_down -34

You wanna hear something dirty? A pile of garbage. That's dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

If three men were rowing a rowboat backwards across your front lawn, and six of the four back wheels fell off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? 17 because footballs don't have feathers.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's red but smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A tree fell in the forest. The person in the house it hit heard it.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's blue, cold and makes people cry? A dead baby

thumb_up thumb_down -40

what did the crocodile say to the fish? OMNOMNOMNOMNOM!! and then the fish swam away because of the the weird noise the crock was making...

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What did the Catholic Priest say to the little boy? May God be with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Whats worse than 2 holocausts? 2 and one tenth of a holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why did the cat throw up on the couch? because it was nauseous!

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Knock knock Who's there? Illiteracy.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

there was a tomatoes and it blew up and died. Why did it blow up? The Nazi's needed ketchup for there Jew Burgers

thumb_up thumb_down -50

whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

thumb_up thumb_down -52

what do you call a man with no @ss? d1ckhead

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Why did the man buy Trojan for his women? It's condom curtsey.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Your mom is so ugly that she was mercilessly bullied throughout high school which led to severe depression and low self-esteem, however she went to college, got a career, found a man who loved her for who she is, not how she looks, and raised a family happily ever after.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops