What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

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What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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why am i sore i bummed a giraffe

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What did the camera man say when the actor took off his pants? Why did you take off your pants?

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Why was maddison sad Becasue he was born with a fucking gay name

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? if a tree falls in the forest and it falls on a mime, does anyone care?

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A homeless man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says it'll be $4.50. The homeless man doesn't have any money so he leaves.

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What do you call a puppy that has been left in the cold? A puppsicle

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What did the man say to the drug dealer? I'd like some drugs

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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Why was the little girl sad? Because she was brutally raped up the ass

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i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

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Nero, thank you for this opportunity, I desire to join the shadows, I left a thumbs up. Michelle

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the gorcery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons."

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Jesus was a good guy

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What did Obama say to Hilary? Will you be my secretary of state?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a cannibal and like to burn people.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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