You make me believe in myself, after all, it takes one to know one, I just wonder what I am, what are you?

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Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Q: What's worse than a dead baby? A: A dead baby with diarrhea.

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Q- Who is the life of the party? A- hannah schane

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im gunna build a lego house what shud i make it out of

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You will never see the a heaven made of pure light with no room for darkness to dwell? Pure light will make you blind, living forever in darkness.

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-Ask me if i'm a crab. -Are you a crab? -No, why would i be a crab?

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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your mumma so fat she ate a horse and she still had room for dinner

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Why is cheese yellow? Answer: I don't know, I was hoping that you would know.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

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NEVER

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My mother forgot to make me a sandwich today.

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Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

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Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

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Whats better then having 10 fingers Having 11

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The Christian Bible.

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What's worse than a Holocaust in your apple? What.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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