One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

Johnny woke up christmas morning, went downstairs and opened his presents to find he had an iPhone, iPad,Ps3 Laptop, the full lot. Then his mate came around and Johnny bragged about all the stuff he had got. Then his mate replied," I wish i had cancer".

-What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew -The pizza doesn't experience many years of hardship and social belittlement at the hands of a dictator in need of a scapegoat to support radical ideas.

ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

why did the frog cry? Because he didn't get a message

A man walks in to a bar, so he got hurt.

What's read, round and gets smaller? A baby combing its hair with a potato pearler

Q: Why doesn't the Mexican belong in St. Louis? A: Because he ran away from home, his family lives in Kansas City.

Yo mama's so fat, she's at risk for a number of obesity related disseases, including diabetes, hypertension, and heart dissease.

why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

What's black, white and red all over? Nothing, I'm colourblind.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.-South Park

Yo momma so fat, she's in the hospital dying of morbid obesity. Sorry man.

If someone tells you to look behind you do you? No

Roses are red Violets are blue The more you know

Why did the bunny cross the road? It didn't, It was hit by a truck...

How would you punish Helen Keller? Make her read a basketball.

Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? (NO) Neither have I!

SHINEE IS BACK PART HARD

How do you register on webkinz? You put a rope around a durable shower neck, & then hang yourself with it.

Man frantically runs into a bar, he suffers brain damage and cannot remember anything about his life. Though he tries to make everything go back to the way it once was, he and his wife grow distant and their family falls apart.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Anti-Joke Delivery Service. Oh, just leave it by the door.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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