How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

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you lose.

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A woman walks into the kitchen to make a sandwich because she is hungry and she likes sandwiches.

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A man went to the doctor, complaining about not feeling well after dancing the night before. The doctor quickly rushed to the surgeon to get ready for the liver transplant that had to take place.

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Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

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Why did the baby fall down from the tree? It was dead.

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please dis this joke, I want to get to the bottom of the leaderboard!

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Why was the black man in prison? He was wrongly accused of a felony and the jury by whom he was tried was largely racist.

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*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

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Want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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Hitler arrives at his neighbor's barmitzfah... fashionably late.

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What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted a car to kill him so he can get to the other side with his wife and son. In other news,I had a very nice chicken cutlet and scrambled egg dinner.

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What does the orphan say to its parents? nothing, orphans dont have parents

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Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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Ronan Parke, making Justin Bieber look straight since 2009

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Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John. John Anderson. Dude we've been friends since first grade! You really don't remember me? I'm going home!

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Q. What roles did girls play in the Gold Rush of 1849? A. Miners.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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david your girlfriend has a nice ass

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I see said the blind man to his deaf wife as his crippled son pushed him in his wheelchair.

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why did the boy and girl go under the covers together? because they were cold

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Whats worst then finding drugs under you brothers bed finding your dead cat under his bed whats worst then finding your dead cat under your brothers bed finding your dead Gran whats even worst then that the Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops