Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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What do you call a man with a fork stuck in his head? A man with a fork stuck in his head

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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Mary had a big white van, a big white van, a big white van, Mary had a big white van, where did my friend go? (sing the song)

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Today i started to think lucas was homosexuaI.. I am scared

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Ronan Parke, making Justin Bieber look straight since 2009

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How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

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What happens when someone with ADD tells a joke? I forgot.

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Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

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Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

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Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

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Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

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Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

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Why did the black guy love his new shirt? Because it was 100% cotton

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Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

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"I like my women like I like my coffee, in a cup." -Paul Alangadan

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what do you call a pond filled with frogs having sex with bacteria is burning there insides while a midget with assburgers is chanting "SMACK THAT BADONKADONK!" racism..

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Nobody likes you ya noob! (-_-) *sniff* MAN YOU SMELL BAD

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♪ It's raining. It's pouring. ♪ The old man caught pneumonia and died....

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What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

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A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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just sit down and dont be a Jew

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You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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