Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

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What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Tell her to inform the police that her significant other is assaulting them and that she should file a restraining order.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 its not, they actually have a domestic partnership going

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Mark Twain, Jesus, and Bill Gates are sitting at a bar. Someone messed with the space time continuum again.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

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Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

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Why did the little boy cry? I cut off his toes one by one and shoved fireworks up his ass

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what do you tell a woman with one black eye? "sorry about that wild ball, you played a fantastic softball game otherwise"

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Thumbs this up

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What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

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Why do black people have the whitest teeth? Because they brush regularly.

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Yo mama is so dumb that she failed the SATs

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What happened when the black man was pushed off the cliff? His bones shattered upon impact and he died almost instantly

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

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Luke Hardie is G@Y

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Why Was Mary Short? She Had No Legs.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? She didn't, women belong in the kitchen.

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why did the husband always work late nights? he needed the extra hours to provide for his family

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What do you call someone with the world biggest encyclopedia on their head? Dead.

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops