Your mother is so overweight that she decided to have liposuction and then proceeded to live a wonderful life.

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Moe: What's the difference between blue paint and red paint? Ben: I couldn't tell you, I'm blind. Moe was so embarrassed by his unintentional rudeness that he apologized to Ben and walked away.

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Why did the little boy enter the white van, then leave scarred for life? He was going on a family trip within the said white van, but along the way they got in a horrible accident which involved a bus, a tractor, and finally a steamroller. The boy quickly escaped at the last second only to watch his family scream as the steamroller slowly crushed the van where they were trapped inside. He then broke down into tears and depression and finished it all by jumping off a bridge. It was a truly tragic incident.

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Gun Control

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i used to be gay. now i am bisexual.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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When you hit an animal Realize your out of your mind Then realize the animals mind is over there in the ditch.

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Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

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a young cow was sitting on a bench until her husband shot her after that he said to the farmer 'i will get the milk than you cut the udders and then maranade them

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Help iv fallen and i can get up -blarg

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Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

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What did the rapper Proof say when he got in a fight? Nothing, Proof is dead.

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Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

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What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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a mexican guy and a black guy are in a car, who is driving? the mexican, the black guy is in the passenger seat

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FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

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Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

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How many Poles does it take to change a lightbulb? Just the one, usually.

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why did the chicken cross the road?... it actually didn't

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Whats worse than being a 40 year old virgin? Being a 12 year old girl in Africa who gets raped everyday to feed her family.

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A man drops a penny between a Jew and a homosexual. The man says "oh excuse me," picks up his penny and continues with his day.

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what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

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Whats the greatest part of buttsex the refrigerators

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops