how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

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If you are riding on a broomstick and it breaks in the middle of the ocean... How many pieces of toast does it take to fill a light house? Purple, because Oranges cannot fly.

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What do you call the guy who made this page. Answer: A sucker mouth bitch.

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What's worse than no christmas? Taking a chainsaw to the face.

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A man with short term memory loss loses his memory every day. His last memory before his accident is the day he escaped this hostpital and murdered a family of five. He continues to do this every day and he is known in Mexico as cincochico.

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What did Batman and Robin say when they were going to the Batmobile? To the Batmobile

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Your biggest fan.

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so if you need 20 dollars and you just kicked your cat how old is your mom. cake because you are a 666 member.

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A man walked into a bar. He broke his nose.

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Women's rights

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So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

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What is 17 meters, squared? A square.

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A Mexican, a black guy, and a Muslim are riding in the back of a car. Who is driving? Their friend Keith.

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One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

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whyd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side :)

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How do you register on webkinz? You put a rope around a durable shower neck, & then hang yourself with it.

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two men walked into a bar the last one ducked

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how do you beat up 3 year old with ease? you beat her up, 3 years can't fight for shit.

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What's pink and shaped like a V? A pink V.

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Why is six afraid of seven. Because seven is a rapist.

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A bald guy walks out of a bar Prostate cancer

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Why couldn't the women cook for her family She had no arms, therefore incapable of preforming the task.

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What amusing anecdote did the Department of Educational Dictations officer tell his coworker? There was no amusing anecdote. DED men tell no tales.

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What's black, dangerous and sits in a tree ? A crow, with a machine gun !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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