What kind of fire alarm does a zebra not like? One that doesn't work

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Your mother is so fat she sometimes eats a normal sized portion of food and does not feel satisfied

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What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

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tee hee

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why did the panda go to the store? to buy milk.

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JUST KIDDING^

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Why is it that we don't eat clowns? Because in most Western countries cannibalism is illegal.

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What's black and crawls around on eight legs? An octopus that just inked itself.

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whats the differences between an atari and a xbox 360 i don't know i'm not a video game nerd

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Q: Why is Santa's sack so big? A: Because he only cums once a year

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If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

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Queens Park rangers

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Docter Docter who? Yes its me, Craig Who your docter, I have the test results back Im afriad its positive,you've only got a few months left

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A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (a police officer steps in and says): What is red and green and peed all over? I dont know Im sorry to say, but its your mother. A group of teens killed her and defiled her body with urine. She was wearing green.

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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What is the diffrence between a monkey... An apple because the more the much. :) :| :| :|

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Q: Wy did the Araib cross the road? A: To open another gas station.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an 0rgy.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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What do you call an African American on the moon? An astronaut

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What is pink, female and has two dicks? A mother with two sons, both called Richard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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