Where do you go when you die? Nowhere

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ghuieruioytidhfdvbshdkhfjh

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Knock Knock Who's there? ... No one, you have Schizophrenia

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Very carefully.

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Whats the worst way to find out your married. Hungover

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What's dumber than a black guy that can't read? Two black guys that can't run with TVs.

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Q: What do you call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A tragedy worse than 9/11.

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so a square said to another square,your rather obtuse oh wait squares cant talk,whats going on. later that day,chuckles realizes he isnt funny -chuckles

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Why did the black man laugh at my joke? k.

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Why did the Gazelle run away. Because a lion was nearby and as we all know, nature called for the lion to be a carnivore, so the gazelle is in danger of being consumed by the lion.

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George Bush, a little boy, and his grandfather are on an airplane with a failing engine. They have only two parachutes to save themselves. The plane crashes and they all die.

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your girlfriend is so dumb she is clinically retareded

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This little pig went to market, This little pig stayed at home, This little pig had pork chops, And this little pig was GONE...

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Why did the teacher give out homework? she is a teacher

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what's worse than finding mommy kissing santa clause ? slave trading

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you are driving down the highway, if two birds make a bee then how many pies can fly at once? None because I can't read

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Why did a vampire climb Mount Everest in the middle of the night on his birthday in September?

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Nickleback walks into a bar..... There isn't a punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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Q:What's the difference between a turtle and a cat? A: One's a turtle and the other is a cat....

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What is brown and sticky? A chocolate ice cream made with too much margarine and not enough of the ice mixture used to make Mr Whippy

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If it looks like a chicken and acts like a chicken, its most likely not a deadly crab running towards you with a knife that has rabies and is afraid of towels.

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Did you hear about the guys who wanted to go to Hawaii??? They didn't go!

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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