A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

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Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her...

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An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

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Where is the best place to hold a bridal shower? The Kitchen

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Howdid we get copper piping we put a Pennie between two Jules

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top kek

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A convict is ripping out stop signs .. and a police comes out of no where and screams "What are you doing?!" The guys says Ripping up stop signs..

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face Horse: I'm dying of an incurable cancer...

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What did your mom say when Quinn Griffith Randel walked in the door? Hi.

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Q. How did the man with no legs get to places? A. He didn't, he died at his house alone

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When life gives you lemons, make beef stew.

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knock knock, whos there? your neighbor's cat..no not really, but your sister just got raped

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I went to work Got paid, Then came home.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the Romans conquer everyone? They were power-hungry.

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A man walked into a bar. It was very crowded so he decided to leave.

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I came up with one when my friend Sam told me the fortune from her Jone's Soda. A change of heart may lead to a new living environment, a change of heart may also lead to death.

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Why did the black man get pulled over by a cop? He was driving 12 miles over the speed limit.

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What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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You come home and find your family dead. What do you do? Take a picture, post it on facebook

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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