How many jews does it take to stop hitler. no one knows they didn't

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What's brown and sticky? A stick!

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

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Why are Jewish men curcumsized? Because Jewish women wont put their hands on anything that's not 20% off

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Yo mama so fat, her whole family is encouraging her to exercise and go on a diet.

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Knock knock Who's there Knock knock Who's there Knock knock Who's there Never mind

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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Do you know what lmnop is? No. A group of five consecutive letters.

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What is the difference between a motorcycle and a football? 42, because ice cream has no bones.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man?

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What did casino dealer say to the other? Every day I'm shuffling.

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? Nothing at all, except the WNBA is professional basketball players of the female sex.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Yesterday I was walking my dog and while I was walking my dog, guess what happened? It got hit by a bus.

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I was thinking... Love conquers all right? Remember the epic crying video? Satan: Because... Some where deep inside... I still love you... God:BUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAUuuuaaaahhh... (Partially invisible effect hand of Satan pats God on the back) The universe is at peace with no opposing forces and I am Nerometal, not that asshole that claims to have one fist and is the leader of some sect, I am and will always be the original Moralman, my name simply happens to be Nero, and thats it, so I am not dissing the bible, why would I none of my business literally, but if love can be tha powerful eh?

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what is the tastiest veggie? veggies aren't tasty.

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What's small and harmless, but deadly when thrown at high speeds? A baby.

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Did you hear about the eskimo and the pregnant lady? The eskimo got the pregnant lady pregnant.

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga? one of them is a women the other one is not.

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What do you call three mexicans in a bowl of soup? Whatever their respective names might happen to be.

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Two muffins are in the oven, One says "Damn it, so hot in here," The other one says " Wow! Muffin which can talk!"

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What's worse than breaking your leg and not being able to walk? Breaking your neck because you will most likely not be able to walk from the high probability of being paralyzed for the rest of your life.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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